Love is in the air, and so is the art of goalscoring in the Premier League. Besides witnessing one of the most competitive EPL title races in a while, we are also seeing new love triangles created, but also new affairs replacing the old ones.
The romance between Haaland, Foden, and Alvarez (0.56 goals scored per game) is now slowly being slighted by the love dynamic created by Salah, Diaz, and Gakpo, who have scored 37 goals by now and are on the verge of breaking some goalscoring records.
Forget Love Island – the real drama unfolds when Premier League attacking trios link up. Using decades of data, we’ve uncovered which goal-scoring ménages à trois delivered fireworks (literally, in some cases) and which fizzled out faster than a Wetherspoons date.
Historic Dominance – When Goals Came in Threes
Before slick tactics and data analysts took over, football was simpler. Strikers did their job, midfielders chipped in, and if you had three players scoring for fun, you were onto something special.
Take Newcastle’s 1993-94 trio of Andrew Cole, Peter Beardsley, and Robert Lee. They racked up 62 goals between them, with Cole alone bagging 34. Defenders must have felt like they were up against a pub team on a five-a-side pitch. Chelsea’s Didier Drogba, Frank Lampard, and Florent Malouda weren’t far behind in 2009-10, notching 63 goals as they steamrolled their way to the title.
But the real heartbreakers? Liverpool’s 2013-14 trio. Luis Suárez, Daniel Sturridge, and Steven Gerrard combined for 65 goals, nearly firing the Reds to their first league title in decades. The ending? Well, let’s just say Gerrard’s slip is still fresh in some minds.
Modern Powerhouses - The Art of Sharing
Today’s football is less about one superstar and more about sharing the load. Tottenham’s Harry Kane, Dele Alli, and Son Heung-Min in 2016-17 managed 61 goals, proving that even a club famous for near-misses could find a way to terrorise defenses.
Manchester City, never ones to do things the normal way, have had their own trio this season. Erling Haaland, Phil Foden, and Julián Álvarez have combined for 57 goals so far in 2023-24. Haaland is leading the charge, but Foden and Álvarez are proving that City’s attack isn’t just a one-man show.
Liverpool’s Salah-Mané-Firmino trio popped up in three separate seasons like that ex who keeps sliding into your DMs. Their 2017-18 haul (57 goals) proved some relationships can survive a group chat.
Current Season - The Race for the Best Trio
With the 2023-24 season still unfolding, the question is - Which team’s trio will be the most effective? Liverpool, Arsenal, and even Aston Villa are putting up strong numbers, but City’s strike force looks difficult to beat.
One thing is for sure—while defences may hate them, fans can’t get enough of a well-balanced goal-scoring trio.
Mo Salah (21 goals), Cody Gakpo, and Luis Díaz have 37 goals by February – putting them on track for 60+ by May. That’s more productive than a couples’ therapy session with a 95% success rate. But with Díaz’s flair and Gakpo’s Dutch pragmatism, will this trio go the distance or end up on It’s All Gone Pete Tong? The Takeaway:
Great trios, like decent takeaways, require balance: a sharpshooter (Shearer), a playmaker (Gerrard’s 13 goals + 32 assists in 2013-14), and someone willing to do the dirty work (looking at you, Tim Sherwood). Whether these love triangles end in trophies or tears, they’ll always be more entertaining than your mate’s WhatsApp voice notes about his “complicated” situation.
